Dating someone from another Christian tradition: Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant

What unites you

Baptism in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, faith in the Triune God, Holy Scripture, the Our Father. That's not little — it's the foundation. Many couples from different traditions say their faith grew precisely while they explained it to each other and discovered the riches of the other tradition.

Talk about how you live your faith

The differences are often less about doctrine and more about everyday life. It's worth talking early about:

• How often do you go to church — and which one? Will you go together, take turns, or each go to your own?
• Do you pray together, and how?
• Fasts and feasts: some Orthodox Churches celebrate Christmas on 7 January, and Easter often falls on different dates.
• Sacraments: the rules on Communion differ between Churches and should be respected.
• What from your tradition do you definitely want to bring into your shared life?

A church wedding

The Catholic Church calls the marriage of a Catholic with a baptised member of another Christian Church a mixed marriage, and it requires permission from the local bishop. Where and how the wedding will be celebrated is arranged with the parish priest during preparation. Orthodox and Protestant communities have their own rules.

The best step is simple: talk together with a priest or pastor — and do it early, while everything is still open.

Children

The baptism and religious upbringing of children is the most sensitive question in such relationships, so don't leave it for later. When a mixed marriage is entered into, the Catholic party promises to do all in their power to have the children baptised and brought up in the Catholic Church, and the other party must be informed of this. Agree openly, before marriage — including how the children will also come to know the other parent's faith.

Family and surroundings

Families sometimes have their own expectations, and in some regions faith is bound up with sensitive historical and national questions. Listen to them with respect, but make the decisions together as a couple. The more united you are, the more easily those around you will accept your path.

When the difference is too big

If one of you expects the other to give up their faith, or if faith is a constant source of conflict instead of shared strength, be honest about it. Pray, seek advice from a spiritual director — and don't be afraid of a difficult conversation. Better now than later.

Denomination in Holymeet

In Holymeet a profile shows someone's denomination, and in Discover you can choose which traditions you're interested in. If it matters to you to meet someone from the same Church, it's easy to set; if you're open to other Christians, that's one tap too.